If it hadn't actually just happened, I wouldn't have believed it. Today started out like any other day, just me and the girls and a trip to the grocery store. Peri didn't have any school today, but shopping had to get done, so I reluctantly took both girls. As we put on our coats, before we left the house, I reminded the girls that they had to be good in the store. They assured me they would so that they could stop by the bakery and get a free cookie.
Before we even got through the automatic door, they started acting up. I'm one of "those" moms who gets the ginormous shopping cart with the car attached to the front that the kids can sit in. But I'm doing it to save your sanity and mine. And it usually works. But not today. After getting them in it, they almost immediately start whining with the whole "she's touching me" bit. Okay, girls, knock it off or no cookies.
We zig-zag through the aisles and the girls get increasingly more annoying and no longer want
to stay in the cart. Every time I stop to get something, one of them climbs out. Why don't they install 5 point harnesses with a freakin' lock on these things? "Mommmmmeeeeeeeee, I want a cookie." "That's nice Peri, you have to be good or you won't get one." "Mommmmmeeeeeee, I don't like this. Mommmmmeeeeee, I want a cookie. "And I want you to stop whining and be a good girl." "But Mommmmmmeeeeee..." "Words cannot express how much I don't care right now. Sit down, be good, or no cookies." We have this conversation at least five times.I eventually have to separate the two and put Ryah in the front of the cart with me. Once we get to the bakery, I have every intention of not giving either of them a cookie. I just want a loaf of French Bread and I will be on my way. Unfortunately, once I get it, the gal working in the bakery says the C word to the girls. Damn.
As if shopping with them isn't bad enough, they keep at it. As soon as we get home, both girls go to timeout. Peri to her bed and Ryah on the stool with her nose in the corner. There's no talking in timeout, but Ryah keeps repeating, "Mommmmmeeeeeee!" I move the stool to four different locations, so she won't open doors, bang on walls or whine at me. She ends up in my bedroom and proceeds to dump all of the dirty clothes out of the hampers while I'm gone. Um, apparently you never want to get out of timeout.
My girls are lucky to survive long enough to have lunch. Then I hear it, a bus out front. Wait, what? I look at my calendar, so sure it's Veterans Day. OMG, are you kidding me? You mean I could have sent Peri to preschool this morning and only dealt with one child?!!!! ARGH! "Hurry, Peri get out of your leotard and put your clothes back on, you're going to school." I apologize profusely to the bus driver, for not being prepared, and send Peri on her way. Well, at least I only have one child left. One who has just locked me out of the house! Is there a kick me sign on my back? "Open the door Ryah.... Ryah!" Grrrr. I have to go through the maze in the garage to get back inside. "Straight to bed with you, child!"About a half hour later I get a phone call, "Peri isn't feeling well. You need to come and get her." Ah man. I go get Ryah, who not only hasn't stayed in her bed for naps, but she's under Peri's bed and has pulled out all of the storage items underneath it. Don't have time to scold her now. Gotta go get Peri.
She has a headache and moans and groans on the couch, but only when I look at her.
Let's turn on a movie, The Nightmare Before Sanity, er, Christmas.
And here we are. I'm counting down the minutes 'til bedtime and I may have to send them to bed early. Jim has school tonight, so it's just me and the girls, no breaks. Someone please pass me some alcohol stat!!!! I need a timeout. How was your day?
